Citing the potential for “much moolah,” Chicagoland mobsters lined up outside an abandoned union hall in Cicero to get “their piece of the action” from Governor Bruce Rauner’s recent announcement that he will move the state capitol from Springfield to downtown Chicago.
“With any move of this magnitude, you need professionals involved. And that’s us. Cartage, hauling, moving stuff. It’s what we do,” said Lenny McGillicuddy of Lenny’s Cartage, Hauling, and Moving Stuff company in nearby Berwyn. “But we need payment up front. We’re not gonna get stiffed by the state the way them doctors and charities did. We’re no dummies. We read the Sun-Times.”
Mr. McGillicuddy is referring to the state’s ongoing inability to pay its bills, leaving schools and medical facilities strapped, including a $25 million debt to Catholic Charities. Other charities have been forced to shut down entirely.
The $62 billion Rauner plan is aimed at saving the state $60 million a year by consolidating offices in a new capitol complex located in Monroe Harbor. Currently the State of Illinois’ primary office building is the ragged and unloved Thompson Center. Some state offices are also located in subleased space in the Illinois Center, and whatever dens and rec rooms Airbnb has leftover at the end of the day.
Bids for the moving project are due by July 1st, and can be deposited in the third unlocked dumpster in the alley behind the Afco Slaughterhouse offices near Bubbly Creek. Winners will be notified when a thick brown envelope suddenly shows up on their kitchen tables.
In spite of the distance and complexity of the project, Seamus O’Flattery of O’Flattery’s Flatbeds felt confident that his industry is up to the task. More importantly, he said, “There’s a good buck in this.”
“It’s a long ways from Springfield to Chicago,” Mr. O’Flattery said. “A lot can happen. It would be a shame if any of them pretty statues got broke. A real shame.”